Introduction
FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.
Content Negotiation
FOAAS will respond to the following 'Accept:' values with appropriate content
- text/plain - Content will be returned as a plain string.
-
application/json - Content will be returned as a JSON object
{ message: 'message', subtitle: 'subtitle' }
- Supports jsonp by including
?callback=?
- Supports jsonp by including
- text/html - Content will be returned as an HTML page with a twitter bootstrap hero unit, containing the message and the subtitle.
- application/xml - Content will be returned as a XML document.
API
/version
Will return content with the current FOAAS version number.
/operations
Will return a JSON list of operations with names and fields. Note: JSON Only
/off/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, :name. - :from', e.g. /off/Tom/Chris will return 'Fuck off, Tom - Chris'
/you/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck you, :name. - :from', e.g. /you/Tom/Chris will return 'Fuck you, Tom - Chris'
/this/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck this - :from', e.g. /this/Chris will return 'Fuck this. - Chris'
/that/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck that. - :from', e.g. /that/Chris will return 'Fuck that. - Chris'
/everything/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck everything. - :from', e.g. /everything/Chris will return 'Fuck everything. - Chris'
/everyone/:from
Will return content of the form 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - :name', e.g. /everyone/Tom will return 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - Tom'
/donut/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - :from', e.g. /donut/Tom/Chris will return 'Tom, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - Chris'
/shakespeare/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - :from', e.g. /shakespeare/Falstaff/Prince%20Henry will return 'Falstaff, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - Prince Henry
/linus/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - :from'.
/king/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ :name, you are fucking thick. - :from'.
/pink/:from
Will return content of the form 'Well, Fuck me pink. - :from'.
/life/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck my life. - :from', e.g. /life/Phil will return 'Fuck my life. - Phil'
/chainsaw/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, :name. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - :from', e.g. /chainsaw/Chris/Heather will return 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Chris. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - Heather'.
/outside/:name/:from
Will return content of the form ':name, why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself? - :from', e.g. /outside/BigBrother/TheWorld will return 'BigBrother, why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself? - TheWorld'.
/:thing/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck :thing. - :from', e.g. /pineapples/%E2%99%A5%20Chris will return 'Fuck pineapples. - ♥ Chris'
/thanks/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck you very much. - :from'.
/flying/:from
Will return content of the form 'I don't give a flying fuck. - :from'.
/fascinating/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fascinating story, in what chapter do you shut the fuck up? - :from'.
/madison/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard, :name. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points :name, and may God have mercy on your soul. - :from'
/cool/:from
'Cool story, Bro - :from'
/field/:name/:from/:reference
Will return content of the form 'And :name said unto :from, "Verily, cast thine eyes upon the field in which I grow my fucks", and :from gave witness unto the field, and saw that it was barren. - :reference'
/nugget/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Well :name, aren't you a shining example of a rancid fuck-nugget. - :from'
/yoda/:name/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, you must, :name. - :from'.
/ballmer/:name/:company/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fucking :name is a fucking pussy. I'm going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to fucking kill :company. - :from'
/what/:from
Will return content of the form 'What the fuck?!. - :from".
/because/:from
Will return content of the form 'Why? Beacuse Fuck you, that's why. - :from'.
/caniuse/:tool/:from
Will return content of the form 'Can you use :tool? Fuck no! - :from'.
/bye/:from
Will return content of the form 'Fuckity bye! - :from'.
/diabetes/:from
Will return content of the form 'I'd love to stop and chat to you but I'd rather have type 2 diabetes. - :from'.
/bus/:name/:from
Will return content of the from 'Christ on a bendy-bus, :name, don't be such a fucking faff-arse. - :from'.
/xmas/:name/:from
Will return content of the from 'Merry Fucking Christmas, :name. - :from'.
Roadmap
FOASS will be extended to include the following functionality:
- Random fuck offs (or Fuck Off of the Day), without having to specify the operation (off, you, everyone, donut etc) explicitly
- Internationalization based on Accept-Language.
All contributions are very welcome.
Created by @TomDionysus
Maintained with loving Profanity by @philip2156, @chris_beckett