Introduction
FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.
What's New in 0.1.5
- /bucket - Please see below
- /tucker - Please see below
- Various typos
API
Content Negotiation
FOAAS will respond to the following 'Accept:' values with appropriate content
- text/plain - Content will be returned as a plain string.
-
application/json - Content will be returned as a JSON object
{ message: 'message', subtitle: 'subtitle' }
- Supports jsonp by including
?callback=?
- Supports jsonp by including
- text/html - Content will be returned as an HTML page with a twitter bootstrap hero unit, containing the message and the subtitle.
- application/xml - Content will be returned as a XML document.
Operations
Path | Description |
---|---|
/version | Will return content with the current FOAAS version number. |
/operations | Will return a JSON list of operations with names and fields. Note: JSON Only |
/off/:name/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, :name. - :from', e.g. /off/Tom/Chris will return 'Fuck off, Tom - Chris' |
/you/:name/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fuck you, :name. - :from', e.g. /you/Tom/Chris will return 'Fuck you, Tom - Chris' |
/this/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fuck this - :from', e.g. /this/Chris will return 'Fuck this. - Chris' |
/that/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fuck that. - :from', e.g. /that/Chris will return 'Fuck that. - Chris' |
/everything/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fuck everything. - :from', e.g. /everything/Chris will return 'Fuck everything. - Chris' |
/everyone/:from | Will return content of the form 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - :name', e.g. /everyone/Tom will return 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - Tom' |
/donut/:name/:from | Will return content of the form ':name, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - :from', e.g. /donut/Tom/Chris will return 'Tom, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - Chris' |
/shakespeare/:name/:from | Will return content of the form ':name, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - :from', e.g. /shakespeare/Falstaff/Prince%20Henry will return 'Falstaff, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - Prince Henry |
/linus/:name/:from | Will return content of the form ':name, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - :from'. |
/king/:name/:from | Will return content of the form 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ :name, you are fucking thick. - :from'. |
/pink/:from | Will return content of the form 'Well, Fuck me pink. - :from'. |
/life/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fuck my life. - :from', e.g. /life/Phil will return 'Fuck my life. - Phil' |
/chainsaw/:name/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, :name. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - :from', e.g. /chainsaw/Chris/Heather will return 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Chris. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - Heather'. |
/outside/:name/:from | Will return content of the form ':name, why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself? - :from', e.g. /outside/BigBrother/TheWorld will return 'BigBrother, why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself? - TheWorld'. |
/:thing/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fuck :thing. - :from', e.g. /pineapples/%E2%99%A5%20Chris will return 'Fuck pineapples. - ♥ Chris' |
/thanks/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fuck you very much. - :from'. |
/flying/:from | Will return content of the form 'I don't give a flying fuck. - :from'. |
/fascinating/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fascinating story, in what chapter do you shut the fuck up? - :from'. |
/madison/:name/:from | Will return content of the form 'What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard, :name. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points :name, and may God have mercy on your soul. - :from' |
/cool/:from | 'Cool story, Bro - :from' |
/field/:name/:from/:reference | Will return content of the form 'And :name said unto :from, "Verily, cast thine eyes upon the field in which I grow my fucks", and :from gave witness unto the field, and saw that it was barren. - :reference' |
/nugget/:name/:from | Will return content of the form 'Well :name, aren't you a shining example of a rancid fuck-nugget. - :from' |
/yoda/:name/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, you must, :name. - :from'. |
/ballmer/:name/:company/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fucking :name is a fucking pussy. I'm going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to fucking kill :company. - :from' |
/what/:from | Will return content of the form 'What the fuck?!. - :from". |
/because/:from | Will return content of the form 'Why? Because Fuck you, that's why. - :from'. |
/caniuse/:tool/:from | Will return content of the form 'Can you use :tool? Fuck no! - :from'. |
/bye/:from | Will return content of the form 'Fuckity bye! - :from'. |
/diabetes/:from | Will return content of the form 'I'd love to stop and chat to you but I'd rather have type 2 diabetes. - :from'. |
/bus/:name/:from | Will return content of the from 'Christ on a bendy-bus, :name, don't be such a fucking faff-arse. - :from'. |
/xmas/:name/:from | Will return content of the from 'Merry Fucking Christmas, :name. - :from'. |
/awesome/:from | Will return content of the form 'This is Fucking Awesome. - :from', , e.g. /awesome/Macklemore will return 'This is Fucking Awesome. - Macklemore' |
/tucker/:from | Will return content of the form 'Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off. - :from', e.g. /tucker/Malcolm+Tucker will return 'Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off. - Malcolm Tucker' |
/bucket/:from | Will return content of the form 'Please choke on a bucket of cocks. - :from'. |
Filters
Filters are optional output modifiers, and are specified by adding the filter name as query to the HTTP request, e.g. http://foaas.com/off/Tom/Everyone?shoutcloud
Name | Description |
---|---|
shoutcloud | Integration with the ShoutCloud service. Please see shoutcloud.io for details. |
i18n | Translation provided by mymemory.translated.net. Specifying ?i18n on its own will attempt to detect your browser language, or you can specify the language to translate to using the ISO 639-1 language code, i.e. ?i18n=es |
Roadmap
FOASS will be extended to include the following functionality:
- Random fuck offs (or Fuck Off of the Day), without having to specify the operation (off, you, everyone, donut etc) explicitly
All contributions are very welcome.
Created by @TomDionysus
Maintained with loving Profanity by @philip2156, @chris_beckett